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SWEET BLOOD (Seyoung Kim)

You would think by the title that this would be your average vampire yaoi, but you’d be wrong. It’s your…below-average 10-volume isekai trap yaoi featuring vampiric half-dragons (how many of those have you read?) that I originally dropped around volume 3 because it was so bad that I couldnt see myself getting through the whole thing. But after exiting the mudpit I decided to take a deep breath, rinse myself off, and promptly and regretfully get back in. Why in the name of red hot scaly dragon dick did I pick it back up? I’m still asking myself that question and I’m not sure actually…maybe I’m just a masochist, or I thought it would get better (spoiler: it does not get better). But really, it’s probably because it’s one of the things I’ve had in my collection for ages; it was one of my first manhwa. Those bright red spines have stared out at me for years…I had to do it justice by at least finishing it. A totally unnecessary sacrifice? Absolutely. Was it worth it? Not at all.

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LA ESPERANCA (Chigusa Kawai)

This is a very early June title, among the first releases on the imprint in the early 00s after they smelled the success of Tokyopop’s gamble on Gravitation and decided they wanted a hot slice. Similar to their other multi-volume early titles like Il Gatto sul G, Our Kingdom, and Gorgeous Carat, they weren’t really ready to license anything all that raunchy yet – at least until Tokyopop put out Junjo Romantica on their BLU imprint and all bets were off. And, at 7 volumes, La Esperanca tied with Our Kingdom as the longest series on the June imprint for about a decade – until they did Ayano Yamane’s Finder and The Tyrant Falls in Love much later on, unfortunately for both series (Finder was license-rescued by Sublime and no one really knows what the fuck is going on with Tyrant yet).

Why the dearth of long series between this time? The first reason is obvious, they present more upfront commitment and expense than one-shots, and the 2008 economic downturn didn’t help things. The manga industry in general also came to realize that the sales of manga series, especially longer ones, largely ride off the back of an anime, and the BL category has scant entries in that regard – so, one-shots and the shorter series (under 10-12 volumes) are definitely safer bets. This is starting to change and there are exceptions, but by and large, BL series in the west are ‘short and sweet’ and longer ones are not gambled on unless they have an anime to help sales. Back in the early 00s though, the Western market was horny for any BL and DMP wanted to filled that hole (!). How has this series aged and is it still worth reading so many years later? Let’s find out!

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TRICKY PRINCE (Yukari Hashida)

This is one of those yaoi that’s not necessarily bad but it’s the sort of pairing/setting combination that I’m not personally into, so I didn’t enjoy it very much. For one, I dislike the ‘perfect in every way’ character type in yaoi. The one on the cover who would be Hitler’s wet dream except for the fact he’s gay is Prince Willis – rich, royalty, and impossibly good looking – and, to me anyway, incredibly boring as a fictional character. I know this is supposed to be like the ultimate female fantasy or whatever but it’s just so uncreative and overdone to me. You could probably throw a dart blindfolded in the 50 cent romance paperback section at Goodwill and hit a book that stars this exact character without even trying. He also looks too much like a woman for my tastes, but that is secondary to his other qualities. And who does Prince Willis chase after in this literary flight of fancy? A completely normal and even more boring ‘regular’ guy who is totally below his level – a type of pairing that I can’t stand. So, not off to a good start here.

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WARU (Yukari Hashida)

“Waru” means bad in Japanese, and I wouldn’t be so unfunny as to pluck the low-hanging fruit of they named it really well huehuehue. Nah, I can make better jokes than that, of course. Also this one actually isn’t that bad. Let me just take a couple sips of wine and I’ll come up with something better in 20 minutes. Hmm. Any minute now….actually you know what, I’m just gonna leave this really great panel here, which will hopefully entice you to read the rest:

Well, hopefully now you know the kind of noble, high-quality literature we’re dealing with here.

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YOU MAKE MY HEAD SPIN (Kazuhiko Mishima)

We’re back-to-back with Kazuhiko Mishima books today, and thankfully this one is a bit better than First Stage of Love, but not by much. Oh but there’s sex! Great right? Well, it feels completely out of place and there’s no dick…in 2008, June was still slowly dipping its toes in the dick pool. Also the art isn’t great. But the characters are ok. Can’t have your yaoi cookies and eat them too with this one, but it’s an ok snack, even if it’s a tad stale and the frosting is too hard.

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THE FIRST STAGE OF LOVE (Kazuhiko Mishima)

Is your new year’s resolution to read more bad yaoi hanging around in your collection that you can get rid of, or is that just me? Honestly, making a half-hearted attempt at getting in shape like normal people would probably be easier than that. I have read yaoi at the gym before though, so perhaps I can combine the two – I used to bring a volume with a discreet cover to read while I was on the elliptical or bike. Nothing like burning through gay porn while burning calories! The Yaoi Bike 801, now with a detachable dildo on the seat, for only the classiest ladies obviously.

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MANIC LOVE + FAKE FUR (Satomi Yamagata)

Guys, get ready for a surprise – two obscure old June titles from the mid 00s that DON’T suck. I don’t say that lightly either, ya’ll know I’m a cynic. If you like serious stories and don’t mind some minimalistic art, these two books with linked stories are easy to find cheap copies of and nice little reads. There’s also slutty sex, in case you needed a little push. 

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PARADISE ON THE HILL (Momoko Tenzen)

Did you wake up this morning craving a bad shounen-ai to read? No? Hmm, I can’t be the only one that wants to read bad BL from the 00s. There must be others out there somewhere, right? ….Right?

Well, if nothing else, if you’ve ever seen the BL parody anime Gakuen Handsome and were confused about the triangle chin jokes, this manga is a textbook example of the infamous Dorito chin in old BL they were making fun of. Now, serious question, do you prefer the red bag or the blue bag when it comes to Doritos? I will judge you on your answer….

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