SWEET REGARD (Juji Fusa)

After the death of their parents, Kohei became an overprotective brother to his younger sister Chieko. But when she got married against his will and brought her husband Shingo to live with them, Kohei had trouble letting his sister go and mostly avoided the newlyweds. Then tragedy struck – Chieko was suddenly killed in a traffic accident and now Kohei is stuck sharing both his personal tragedy and his living space with Shingo, the brother-in-law he hates.

This is a really, really good BL story idea, no? With such a great concept, what could possibly go wrong?

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LOVE TRAINING (Tatsumi Kaiya)

I’m in the middle of burning through everything I have by this mangaka because after Party and Hot Steamy Glasses were both very bleh, I expected this to also be bleh, and I really need the shelf space for other stuff. And it was very…well, bleh. This manga almost epitomizes mid 00s mediocre yaoi. Art was bleh. Stories were bleh. Sex was bleh. Everything was just…bleh? Bleh. Try not to be too impressed by my creative use of adjectives here…

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AS MANY AS THERE ARE STARS (Miecohouse Matsumoto)

Every time I unearth a weird, perverse title lurking in my collection within a sweet and innocent-looking cover like this, it’s a little bit bittersweet because that’s one less one waiting to be discovered – and even though I regularly do add new titles to my collection, they’re usually recently-published ones, and modern BL that gets a physical release usually nowdays isn’t quite as – er – ‘special’ as this one.

As Many As There are Stars is an obscure and somewhat recent June release that isn’t pricey-rare, but I never see it in anyone’s collection. This book is very…actually I don’t even know what to call this. It’s just…weird. The art is weird. The tone is weird. The sex scenes are weird. The dialogue is weird. There’s a scene where one guy who has a ‘body fluid fetish’ gets off by licking between his partner’s dirty toes while sexually fantasizing about the salt/fat/grease content of the latter’s body, followed by very serious themes regarding suicidal ideation and parental abandonment, followed by cousin incest.

Oh yeah, and it’s rated 16+.

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CANDY (Satomi Sugiya)

This was one of the most boring yaoi I’ve read in recent memory; I may as well have been reading a school textbook. I was thinking about the most mundane shit during it, like that I need more granola when I go to the store tomorrow and if I should really cancel Funimation yet (I should have like 2 years ago probably, but they really are taking their sweetass time porting everything over to Crunchyroll). My eyes were glazing over even during the steamy bits. The story was so predictable and trite and the art was passable but not really to my liking. I’ve certainly read worse, but I just really struggled to get through this one. Maybe I’ve just read so much bad yaoi that mediocre yaoi is now dead on arrival, who knows.

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YAOI ANTHOLOGY (Yaoi Press)

These two books contain five stories put together, and I guess ‘variety’ is one way to describe them. ‘Full of rape’ is another way I guess. We’ve got…demon threesome rape, captor x captive rape, and hillbilly rapists in Idaho *which isn’t even also* the blood-brother rape pairing. I can’t think of any clever way to combine ‘rape’ and ‘anthology’ for a better name they could have called these, but if there is one out there somewhere floating in the English language – ah yes that’s what they should have called it, that exactly.

I crabbed about this in Kingdom of Selfish Love too, but if you’re going to draw OEL yaoi, why even bother if you’re either censoring or not showing any dick? Like actually though? I mean, there’s some uncomfortable sex scenes and pairings in here I guess that’s almost a positive for these particular titles, but in general, no censorship laws is the one thing OEL yaoi has going for it and not using it is just letting their free ice cream melt.

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GOLDEN PRINCE AND ARGENT KING (Kouko Agawa)

I had had this title kicking around for ages; it was one of the first in my collection. I don’t know why it took me so long to finally read it. I think because usually I’m either in the mood for either a good yaoi’ or ‘bad yaoi,’ and didn’t know how to categorize this one, because I’m a weirdo and didn’t want to take off the shrinkwrap until I committed to it – but then of course I couldn’t flip through it to find out. I am fully aware that’s a stupid as hell reason but gotta preserve that new book smell, ya know?

I read this all in one sitting, around 6am listening to rain and traffic in bed and waiting for the sun to rise, possibly under some insomnia-induced delirium (my sleep schedule is FUBAR due to Black Death 2020) and trying to wash my brain out after Poison Cherry Drive – which was so incomprehensible that even fairly mediocre yaoi like this one appears near-Shakesperean in comparison.

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DOUBLE TROUBLE (Takashi Kanzaki)

I don’t think I’ve read an English-licensed yaoi yet title with a true threesome in it, unless this glass of Cabernet is just affecting my memory at the moment. There are certainly a lot of titles that tease at it but never deliver, often just for fanservice and never intending to. But I can’t recall another book – besides this one – that basically writes a threesome into the plot as the resolution, mentions it multiple times as something all three characters want and plan to do, and then when it’s about to actually happen, the curtain closes and there’s no final act. It’s not that the ending is bad, it’s that there isn’t an ending at all. I couldn’t believe this story was complete, such was the abruptness of this. It’s so absurd, that I feel the need to warn people beforehand. The gleeful, malicious cackle of Lady Blue Balls echoes strongly with this one.

Thankfully, there’s a lot I liked in this sexy school comedy that somewhat made up for it, in the sense that you were promised a slice of cake but given a few stale Oreos instead but you just really want something sweet so whatever.

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CONSTELLATIONS IN MY PALM (Honami/Sakuragi)

I seem to be on a Honami kick right now. I apparently just happen to be reading the books she drew in an order where I like each successive one more than the last. No doubt this pattern can only last for so long but I was curious to see if I’d find my new favorite book of hers at the end of the trail. It might be too early to say, but this one is going to be hard to top – Constellations in My Palm is not only my favorite book Honami has worked on (the 5th of hers I’ve read), it has one of the most touching, beautiful, and tear-jerking stories of any yaoi I’ve read in a long while. Really, it’s that good.

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LOVE LESSON (Hanae Sakazaki)

So, I don’t mind student-pursuing-teacher storylines, and I don’t mind younger semes with older ukes, but if those two things overlap on some kind of yaoi venn diagram it’s not really my cup of tea. Maybe I just haven’t read one I really liked yet, but I think when it gets down to it – college students are one thing, but when I think about the guys I knew at 16, and then pretend they were gay, the idea that any of them would be able to top someone older and more experienced than them, much less satisfy them, much less seduce them, much less have the confidence to try in the first place, much less put another comma in this sentence, is kind of laughable. Granted, I went to Catholic school, so that probably means diddly squat. Maybe in some public schools out there people were so used to this that when Johnny bent Mr. Smith over in the janitor’s closet after Algebra 2, they didn’t even have to shut the door – and that’s still *if* doing questionable things with the mop handle wasn’t completely off the table. You know those kids that were duller than a tan crayon yet somehow always got good test scores? You gotta wonder…

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