Yaoi manga reviews and fujoshi ramblings
Guys, get ready for a surprise – two obscure old June titles from the mid 00s that DON’T suck. I don’t say that lightly either, ya’ll know I’m a cynic. If you like serious stories and don’t mind some minimalistic art, these two books with linked stories are easy to find cheap copies of and nice little reads. There’s also slutty sex, in case you needed a little push.
Continue reading “MANIC LOVE + FAKE FUR (Satomi Yamagata)”
I’m just going to start the review with this panel because why not:
Alright, now that we’re all in the right mindset for taking about bad yaoi…
Continue reading “CAMERA CAMERA (Kazura Matsumoto)”
The back of the books calls this ‘one of the hottest, silliest yaoi manga ever written!’ Well me set the record straight right now, this has about as much truth to it as Epstein having killed himself. Not that most people actually take the marketing lines on book covers with anything but a grain of salt, but I’m seriously doubtful that whoever wrote that actually read this because it should, without a doubt, have a little official-looking seal somewhere on the cover that says ‘Certified Crap.’ I mean, that would probably only appeal to people like me who think it’s fun to play on the garbage pile, but least it wouldn’t be false advertising.
Continue reading “PART-TIME PETS (Reno Amagi)”
As soon as I finished this book I yelled to my fiancee in the other room ‘babe, you wouldn’t believe the premise of this yaoi I just read,’ and when I told him, I heard a a hearty chortle in reply. It’s so ridiculous I just can’t believe it was a serious story and not a comedy: three high schoolers are all dating the same girl, and when they lose her they all start fucking each other instead. (Just to reiterate, this is NOT a comedy). And when I imagined where I’d come across the first honest-to-God threesome in a physical title, I certainly didn’t think it would be in an old June book drawn by the same artist who did ‘Rin!’ Well, here we are.
Continue reading “THIRSTY FOR LOVE (Honami/Takaguchi)”
I have a tag on this blog for books that are “good for beginners,” and this is one of those that’s ideal for the innocent BL virgins among us looking to dip their toes into the genre. Although it’s an older title, the stories are cute and the art doesn’t feel too dated; I think even a Catholic priest would have a hard time being offended by a shounen-ai this wholesome. They may even ask to borrow it and leave it around for the altar boys to find…you know, to get a second opinion.
I’m in the middle of burning through everything I have by this mangaka because after Party and Hot Steamy Glasses were both very bleh, I expected this to also be bleh, and I really need the shelf space for other stuff. And it was very…well, bleh. This manga almost epitomizes mid 00s mediocre yaoi. Art was bleh. Stories were bleh. Sex was bleh. Everything was just…bleh? Bleh. Try not to be too impressed by my creative use of adjectives here…
Continue reading “LOVE TRAINING (Tatsumi Kaiya)”
After reading ‘Star’ by Kanno and generally enjoying the story (we’ll talk about the art later), I decided to dip into the other licensed title we have from this mangaka. Starring two high school friends who become something more, the two-part ‘Words of Devotion’ starts out a bit slow and feels more formulaic than ‘Star,’ but she manages to make the characters feel like real people despite it being a standard school romance at heart, and had many scenarios I find hot in yaoi.
Is shounen-ai for kids a thing? If so, this might qualify. It’s so basic, so superficial, and so unoffensive, I feel like it’s almost a coloring book. It’s barely even a 16+ rating and might even be as fluffy as Almost Crying which is saying something. The dialogue is just so dumb and the two stories featured here are just so silly, you could probably read it while drunk and high and still understand it perfectly. Possibly better. It also occurred to me that reading it backwards might improve on the story because the confession inexplicably happens in chapter 1 with no lead-up and then nothing really develops after that, so if you read it the other way it’s almost like you get more plot development! #badyaoihacks
Continue reading “STOP BULLYING ME! (Natsuho Shino)”
This was one of the most boring yaoi I’ve read in recent memory; I may as well have been reading a school textbook. I was thinking about the most mundane shit during it, like that I need more granola when I go to the store tomorrow and if I should really cancel Funimation yet (I should have like 2 years ago probably, but they really are taking their sweetass time porting everything over to Crunchyroll). My eyes were glazing over even during the steamy bits. The story was so predictable and trite and the art was passable but not really to my liking. I’ve certainly read worse, but I just really struggled to get through this one. Maybe I’ve just read so much bad yaoi that mediocre yaoi is now dead on arrival, who knows.
Continue reading “CANDY (Satomi Sugiya)”
My manga friend told me today this was the worst yaoi she’d ever read, and gave it 1/10 – so naturally, and very excitedly, I had to pull it from my shelf and read it immediately. I mean damn, that’s harsh, I’ve never even rated anything that low (not even Kingdom of Selfish Love, which is unfit even for toilet paper). Although I keep in mind that ratings are totally subjective opinions, I should also remember that most people don’t deliberately do the equivalent of yaoi dumpster diving, looking for the smelliest piles in the darkest corners and I’ve seen some shit. I’m going to have that faraway stare of a war veteran one of these days.
‘Grandma, why are you missing a leg?’
‘Oh sonny, back in the war, they dropped Studio Kosen titles on us, so many that we were slaughtered like cattle under a black rain of death, followed by Poison Cherry Drive for good measure which ate away our limbs and our will to live…’
‘Wow, how did you escape?’
‘I saw a glowing beam in the sky. It was the Incredible Kintaro himself, swinging his giant penis around the sky like Wonder Woman’s lasso, striking down the enemy with his thousand-pound titanium balls while yelling ‘Tofu Ball Choke!’ and shooting lasers out of his urethra.’
‘Grandma, you’re full of shit.’
‘Hey, respect your elders you little fuckhead.’