cursed – The BLacklist: Yaoi Reviews

August 7, 2022October 30, 2023

DUETTO (Aoi Kujyou)

Sometimes reading these random older yaoi titles feels like a whats-behind-the-door game in terms of what you may get. Sometime you get eyeball licking. Sometimes Osama bin Laden appears. Sometimes a guy’s asshole gets used as a flowerpot. And let’s definitely not forget that sometimes you get a story where a guy pleasures himself with a corncob and suddenly it turns into a man that he has a magic orgy with in the clouds along with a goat boy who sticks a harp up his ass, followed by tentacle monster kemonomimi rape.

I guess every now and then you get like, a normal school romance or something. Or, if you’re reading Duetto, you get…biological son x father noncon. Yup. I mentioned all that other stuff to soften the blow.

August 1, 2022April 23, 2024

AS MANY AS THERE ARE STARS (Miecohouse Matsumoto)

Every time I unearth a weird, perverse title lurking in my collection within a sweet and innocent-looking cover like this, it’s a little bit bittersweet because that’s one less one waiting to be discovered – and even though I regularly do add new titles to my collection, they’re usually recently-published ones, and modern BL that gets a physical release usually nowdays isn’t quite as – er – ‘special’ as this one.

As Many As There are Stars is an obscure and somewhat recent June release that isn’t pricey-rare, but I never see it in anyone’s collection. This book is very…actually I don’t even know what to call this. It’s just…weird. The art is weird. The tone is weird. The sex scenes are weird. The dialogue is weird. There’s a scene where one guy who has a ‘body fluid fetish’ gets off by licking between his partner’s dirty toes while sexually fantasizing about the salt/fat/grease content of the latter’s body, followed by very serious themes regarding suicidal ideation and parental abandonment, followed by cousin incest.

Oh yeah, and it’s rated 16+.

April 20, 2022April 23, 2024

HAPPY YAOI YUM YUM (Yaoi Press)

We have (fucking finally) reached the end of the Yaoi Press pile, and I purposely saved the best for last – so if Yaoi Press titles are too offensive to your eyesight to finish more than one review, make it this one. And if you’ve read them all so far and are ready to tap out due to early onset degenerative eyesight damage , it’s too late to turn back now, my friend. We’re nearing the summit and that last avalanche blocked our descent path. Plus, do you have any idea how many Yaoi Press titles there are?! There’s like 60 of them, think how merciful I am! This isn’t Everest, this is a bunny slope! Don’t you want to see what’s at the top of the mounta…errr…large snowy hill? There’s a lot going on up there but just from this low vantage point, I can see we’ve got dudes getting fucked with corn, tentacle kemonomimi rape, and a trap porn parody of Goldilocks and Three Bears. Woo-wee! Tighten up your boots and let’s get a move on. Those people above us on the ski lift are just pussies . Oh, look, there’s a sign:

“This sounds like a great book for my 8-year-old, I just want to make sure it’s censored?”

Warning: Very NSFW images after the jump.

December 10, 2021April 23, 2024

YAOI ANTHOLOGY (Yaoi Press)

These two books contain five stories put together, and I guess ‘variety’ is one way to describe them. ‘Full of rape’ is another way I guess. We’ve got…demon threesome rape, captor x captive rape, and hillbilly rapists in Idaho *which isn’t even also* the blood-brother rape pairing. I can’t think of any clever way to combine ‘rape’ and ‘anthology’ for a better name they could have called these, but if there is one out there somewhere floating in the English language – ah yes that’s what they should have called it, that exactly.

I crabbed about this in Kingdom of Selfish Love too, but if you’re going to draw OEL yaoi, why even bother if you’re either censoring or not showing any dick? Like actually though? I mean, there’s some uncomfortable sex scenes and pairings in here I guess that’s almost a positive for these particular titles, but in general, no censorship laws is the one thing OEL yaoi has going for it and not using it is just letting their free ice cream melt.

December 1, 2021April 23, 2024

YAOI HENTAI (Yaoi Press)

I am slowly – so very slowly – making my way through this pile of Yaoi Press titles that has been sitting around for ages – someone gave them to me free, and now I can see why. The thought of reading the rest of these is akin to slogging back to work at 8am on a Monday after a great weekend, but it has to be done. For posterity, you know? They’re the yaoi equivalents of the forgotten schlocky VHS B-movies someone unearths outside a Goodwill that end up on Red Letter Media – except they haven’t been forgotten just yet. They will though. Let 20 years or so pass, and they’ll age like fine wine for the bad OEL manga connoisseur. So, person from the post-apocalyptic future who just found a tattered copy of Xorcisms and Pogo Sticks also by YP in some bombed out basement while foraging for expired Campbell’s tins and then dusted off the ancient internet archives using the government-issued chip in their head to see where this curious paper relic full of badly-drawn dicks came from and it led you to here to this website, well ha ha ha mister I totally predicted this already, and get out of my bomb shelter you future intruder. And don’t touch that lever! Ha, just kidding, my bomb shelter would have way better reading material – useful, serious, and contemplative tomes for humanity’s uncertain future such as Dick Fight Island, Gay’s Anatomy and Long & Hard! My Brother’s Cute Gay Classmate Fucked My Ass So Hard We Both Turned into Sentient Sex Robots In Another World Where Everyone Has 17 Nuclear-Powered Mega Dicks?! (You caught me, this one doesn’t exist yet, but I believe in the yaoi isekai future).

Warning: very NSFW images after the jump

January 6, 2021April 23, 2024

KINGDOM OF SELFISH LOVE (Yaoi Press/Studio Kosen)

‘Hey X, when are you going to review another Yaoi Press title?’ said no one ever, especially since that requires actual readers of this blog. Unlike the group that create these terrible books, I am under no delusion that people want to read by self-indulgent BS, much less even think of charging anyone for it. But funny you ask, imaginary reader, because I have here five or so of these titles that I got ages ago in some mixed yaoi lot on eBay (the only way Kosen titles ever find their way to me…). Before mixing them among the hymnals in the pews of my local church, I thought it would be fun to review them. Unfortunately to review them, this means I have to read them. The fact that I’m only just getting around to this about a year into a pandemic lockdown should tell you how much I wanted to do this. But if I can save even one person from paying $12.95 for this one in particular, it will have been worth it. Not all heroes wear capes!