So, my friend Shinami gave me this for Christmas, and I have to say, it is one of the most fun and enjoyable Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten, possibly *the* most fun and enjoyable one – and my sister and I got a trampoline once. This is uncensored BL to boot, so it’s like Santa came twice in a row. He has a big sack after all.
And oh boy was this a treat. If the odd premise of a bishounen who we will pretend is 18 getting whisked away to another world and then pile-driven by a comically massive titan cock for 150+ pages doesn’t really appeal to you now, I have a suggestion: it just might not appeal to you yet. The protagonist had the same realization, you know.
Warning: Uncensored dick after the jump.
So…I have a dilemma because most of the stuff I talk about on this blog is like, old-ass obscure titles that are 10-20+ years old, that often suck, sometimes comically, and that usually no one really cares about. However, this is a new title that is currently releasing, and reviewing it puts my fujo cyberspace ramblings in danger of actually being relevant to someone – and I’m not sure how Seven Seas would feel about me posting a ton of pictures considering they exclusively licensed the uncensored version in print. I looked on the SS website to see what they technically allow and this is really all they say about reviews in their FAQ: “if you liked a book, share it!. . .Please promote photos or digital images from the official editions and NOT scanlation images, since we can’t reblog your great review if it includes pirated images.” So I guess it’s fine to post pics since I have a legit copy, but it does not say how many are allowed – I guess I will limit it to two panels that show dick, which seems like it should be ok for review purposes because I think most panels in this book show dick so I’m not exactly giving away the farm here (I’m not counting the “dick shadow” one below btw because they put this as a teaser on their Twitter iirc).
So..’plot’ I guess? Koichi is a high school basketball star, masturbating on his bed one day when he gets isekai’d to a land of titans by the titan prince named Caius, to be his bride (with Koichi’s dick still hanging out, by the way). Caius is 270 cm tall (8ft 10in) according to the afterword and the idea of getting titan’d in the butt with Caius’s massive beef thermometer does not appeal to Koichi, but Caius makes him a promise that if he doesn’t fall for him after a month, he’ll send him back to his own world. He also promises him that he won’t do anything sexual to him without consent, a promise which he tries to break pretty much immediately.
After this it’s basically just a dicks-out fuckapalooza with some ‘plot’ interspersed here and there. The main conflict in this volume revolves around Koichi accidentally getting poisoned with a fruit that makes him super horny when the moon is out and them going to another part of the kingdom – one with a beast race – to find an antidote, but this ‘plot point’ is obviously just an excuse to make them fuck more, so even what thin and silly story there is here is centered around sex. Not that most people are going into this expecting a deep and thoughtful plot, but just to confirm, this is horny-ass smut, and sex is basically the plot.
If you want your curiosity sated about the premise but are kinda on the fence about whether isekai titan sex is actually hot, it’s not nearly as weird as I initially thought it would be and is drawn in such a way that it pretty damn sexy, although this particular fantasy has never been on my radar. It helps that Caius is loving and really tries to care for his ‘bride’ – despite graphically railing him with a veritable cockosaurus rex for hours on end – and Koichi eventually does really enjoy it. The nature of the sex is not exactly what you’d call wholesome, which some people might be bothered by. The first few times they do it there is definitely some dubcon/noncon (depending on how you perceive it) and the rest of the time it is technically drug-induced, so that might be offputting for some people. I knew exactly what I was getting into so I did not care, but just be aware if you’re sensitive to that sort of thing.
The art in this book is fantastic, and very hot – better than it has any right to be I think, and that is largely what makes this book a home run for me (this is the mangaka’s first published title by the way…wonder if she told her parents). One thing that people might notice is that the dicks are not incredibly detailed, no veins or anything, which makes the titan dick in particular look kinda like a dildo in some panels – but she likely did not draw it with the thought that it might be released uncensored overseas one day, and that is being really nitpicky – the art in here is hotter than probably like 90% of BL I read. She also hit that sweet spot of drawing Koichi both cute and hot at the same time – he’s boyish yet masculine, without being too much of either. He thankfully looks a little older than his age because…well, you know what, we’re just not going to talk about his age…
Titan’s Bride also got an anime adaptation that consists of 9 very short episodes, which my friend Shinami and I had a riot watching on Amazon together. In terms of explicitness, the anime might as well be Hello Kitty compared to the manga, and we watched the supposedly premium uncut version with all the naughty bits. A censored version apparently aired in Japan but since there’s no visible dick or butthole in the anime anyway, I’m not sure what they would even have to censor (cum I guess?), or why anyone thought a BL porno should have an all-ages version. They also expanded on seemingly random non-explicit moments in the manga, as if they were really looking for something to fill the episode time other than sex. Which is silly because the episodes were so short anyway, and which also begs the question: why make an anime out of a porno manga in the first place if you’re hardly going to show anything? I’m honestly not sure. They cut a bunch of the sex scenes altogether, like a part at the beginning where Caius massages and fingers him, and a part near the end where Koichi is masturbating and fingering himself without Caius there because of the effects of the drug. But the cum sfx sounded like squeezing an almost-empty ketchup bottle, which had us laughing out loud every time. And how the hell do these voice actors do these raunchy sex noises with a straight face? The anime goes slightly past where vol 1 ends, so you get a few hints on what happens in vol 2 (spoiler: Koichi gets mouth-raped by a wolf. I also have a feeling that this story is heading into mpreg territory, just a guess). So, the anime is definitely inferior to the manga, but it was fun as hell to watch with a friend and poke fun at it.
This book has more in common with a hentai title or a doujin than most physically-released BL we get nowdays. It originally ran in Japan as a digital release and the peen was freed by our lord and savior Seven Seas with this uncensored print version. SS is an interesting publisher who dabbles in a bit of everything and though they have never shied away from horny ecchi in general, they are definitely not known for yaoi. The BL they have done are well-regarded though not really of the raunchy variety (“Classmates,” “Our Dreams at Dusk,” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart” are some of the ones I own that come to mind) but recently they have been riding the danmei trend like a dog in heat ever since Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation hit the NYT Bestseller list. They released another horny (mostly?) uncensored – josei? – title recently, Fire in His Fingertips, and I’m not sure if this and Titan’s Bride are random one-offs or what but I truly hope they continue this uncensored-horny-manga-for-women thing they have started. You know, for something to pass down to the grandkids. You could even do the reverse and pass it up to your grandma. Don’t buy nana that coffin sweater for Christmas, buy her this instead. You can have real-life BL Metamorphosis and read it together. Might want to have her heart meds nearby though…
TL;DR: If you’re a fujo who has ever wished that we would get more hentai-esque uncensored porn-y BL titles with a physical English release, purchasing this book is the best use of $14.99 you’ll have until…well until vol 2 comes out. Going into this you have to be ok with the fact that it’s basically smut with a ‘porn plot’ and some dubcon sex, but if you are, you are in for a wild ride. I also very much hope this uncensored dick trend continues. Uncensored dick forgives all sins. Tell your priest!