CAN’T WIN WITH YOU (Honami/Takaguchi)

That awkaward moment when you try to get a kid of questionable age to do something by tying him down and giving him a hand job while making out with your friend but it doesn’t convince him to do what you want so you get forced to blow the school director’s son while his brothers watch and then the same annoying kid starts going to your school and becomes resident advisor and makes rules against no gay stuff but starts to like gay stuff because you kiss him once but really you like your roommate Miku and you get pissed because you get forced to suck that same guys’s dick again while Miku and your other friend drug the annoying kid with spiked hot chocolate and dress him up like a slutty girl while he’s unconscious complete with shampoo dripping from his mouth for blackmail and then later everyone tries to rape him and you’re like wtf all I wanted was to get my asshole rammed in peace by my roommate without getting forced to blow people as punishment for shit I didn’t do. I think we can all relate.

And so begins this trilogy, much like the beginning of Lord of the Rings began as well if you had read the subtext. The thing that really got me with this story is that the cover and description make it look more innocent and tame than it really is. I thought it was going to be like Rin except with a sex scene that shows penetration or something. How wrong I was! This isn’t a quaint little love story by any means, unless your definition of ‘quaint’ is a boys’ dorm sex fest. Be prepared for a lot of pics, this is a 3-volume story with 10+ characters so there was a lot to cover.

The story centers around a ‘country bumpkin’ named Yuuhi (the short-haired one on the cover, affectionately known as ‘chicken-head.’) who becomes landlord/resident advisor of a new boys’ school called Shuuiku Academy, and it’s kind of like Mean Girls if it had two cliques except all were boys and they all liked to hook up with each other. There’s Sango, Hayate, and Miku in Clique 1 (the ones in charge on paper), and Kai, Riku, and Kuu in Clique 2 (the ‘shadow administration’), who are also the director’s sons – and no, they don’t hook up with each other (my perv brain was waiting for it though), though they seem to be ok with watching each other do it and occasionally helping.

The art was classic Honami, and lovely as always. She’s talented and her work is always consistently good. Although her ukes always look pretty much the same and are often my least-favorite characters in any of her stories because they always seem so pitiful and whiny, her other characters are usually much more to my liking, and thankfully with so many of them in this one there was lots of other eye candy. I am just not a fan of short-haired ukes at all – they just don’t do it for me, sorry Yuuhi.

..Not to mention her uke drawing style combined with this haircut makes him look like he’s, like, 9 year old. I never did figure out why they called him ‘chicken-head’ or what that is supposed to mean.

Tbh, he looks way hotter as a girl, and is dressed in drag about 30% of the time because drugging people and dressing them like girls seems to be a wholesome teambuilding activity at this dorm.

I never thought I’d say it, but I’d much rather have Lily Hoshino-esque girl ukes like fem-Yuuhi here than short-haired ones

One odd thing about Yuuhi is that he talks with an American country accent for the first quarter of the story and then just apruptly stops (which was fine, because it was annoying). I am kind of curious now what a Japanese country accent is supposed to be…?

Spoken like a true Bible-thumping, gun-toting, confederate-flag-waving Deep South trailer park resident.

Yuuhi and Sango get the hots for each other and become the least-dysfunctional couple of the bunch, though that isn’t saying much. They were my least favorite because Yuuhi was annoying so I’m glad they only had a few very short sex scenes. Sango was usually hotter with his glasses off imho, and I wish he and his ex-flame Riku had more than one tease scene because I think Sango makes a much better uke. I like it when the straight-laced ones who have the most control give in.

Yuuhi seems to be the object of everyone’s affection but thankfully the real action comes with Miku and Hayate, who literally can’t keep their hands off each other. Hayate was actually my favorite character, he was the cutest and he also gets more ass than a toilet seat.

He and Miku were definitely my favorite couple, and most of the M-rated action in the series is thanks to them and their rabbit-like fucking.


The second hottest character was Kai with his pretty-boy looks, and unfortunately he was never really coupled with anyone, which made me a sad panda.


Yuuhi’s older brother, Tori-san, is a teacher at the school and one whose pants everyone definitely wants to be in (guess it runs in the family?) But unbeknownst to them, that honor belongs to the oddball director of the school, and the two are one hot couple that definitely don’t have enough proverbial screen time – their scenes are usually relegated to bonus stories.

Since Honami mostly collaborated with different writers for her books, I wished she had collaborated with someone like Mio Tennohji or another mangaka from that time who did good smut. Coulda called it something like Orgy Boys (a Borgy?). I mean, don’t pretend like that title wouldn’t sell books. It would have been a more descriptive title for this one at least. (‘Borgy: Dorm Drag, 1-3’ would have been completely accurate while still safe enough to not sound explicit to anyone who hasn’t read it. It sounds like weird bargain bin porn though, so don’t know what that accomplishes).

The first volume was by the far the best and I’d give it a solid 6.5, but I liked each successive one less – they seemed to lose steam, and there was some chapters which just didn’t make sense at all, like Hayate getting molested by a sex demon (hot though it was) – and I would probably give the 2nd one a 6 and the 3rd one a 5.5, so I’ll have to average them. The story as a whole though was enjoyable enough with plenty of boys dorm action, though the sex scenes could definitely have been longer and showed more. I guess this book kind of makes up for it though with the sheer amount of them, and has even more kissy ones. The plot is episodic in nature, with lighthearted silliness (including tatami fetishism and nude aprons) and some genuinely funny scenes. One such scene is a dream Yuuhi has in which he’s dressed as a girl (of course), everyone has animal ears and Hayate gives birth to a baby. Mpreg AND furries: Deviantart approved!

I’ll just uh..leave this here…

TL;DR: A lighthearted read with plenty of fun, sexy stories of multiple couples and excellent art from Honami to match. I liked each successive volume less but as a whole I liked the series more than I thought I would, and they don’t shy away from the sex scenes so it’s a nonstop buffet of boys dorm action. Also includes tatami fetishism, male lactation, nude aprons, and the uke MC dressing in drag for about 30% of the book – part of this complete breakfast.

TheBL Rating: 5.5/10

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